Crazy Little Things...

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I'm starting to get really pissed off with the college e-mail system as I keep getting spam and shit!

I just thought I'd let you all know that as I'm also bored!

Once Upon A Time...

Once upon a time
In a land where everyone was happy,
There lived Bob and Keira LoveDoll,
They had three kids Steph, Ash and...

TBC

James, Keira, Karen and Bob Too...

Ok so this is a story me and my friend James came up with while we were bored!

"Have you seen James' new partner?"
''No, who is she?''
"Well, it's not exactly human.."
''What do you mean?''
"erm, he bought a lovedoll as a girlfriend replacement"
"Oh.''
"Has he named her?''
"Yea he's named her...''
"He called her Keira?''
"yeah... *rolls eyes* like that's a surprise''
"What a sad fuck!''
"yup, he even asked me to come round and meet her''
"WHAT?! ..did you?''
"Noo! Don't think I'm going anywhere near that weirdo now. But that's not all. He's been making her open the door for courier deliveries, which scare them to no end, then he helps her take the bins out on a Monday.."
"Oh My God ... like i've got to meet her''
"Are you crazy?''
"Some think so!''
"Really?''
"Yea... What do you think their kids are gonna look like?"
"Hmm, I think they'll look like condoms with little tiny faces"
"That's pretty damn disturbing. Okay, I've changed my mind, I don't wanna see the squidgy lovedoll after all..."
"Then we must stop him. We've got to make him pine for something else
"Well, I dunno - It's pretty hard to compete with sex toys. I remember this time when one of my ex-girlfriends said she was going to feed the rabbit. Except, she'd go to feed him three times a day"
"And?"
"Well, it turns out the rabbit was feeding HER. I hate those rampant rabbits..."
"God tell me about it. My ex rather a sextoy then me! Do you think she was trying to tell me something?''
"I think we should change the subject!"
''So who can we get him interested in?''
"I don't know...oh wait why not..."
"Karen?''
"Yeah, why not?''
"But she's bought a lovedoll too''
"ah, jeez; can't we just say their lovedolls want to be with each other or som... what?''
"Are you listening to yourself?''
"All we have to do is put James' lovedoll..."
''Keira''
"..Keira, and Karen's lovedoll..."
''Bob''
"Bob?"
''Yeah''
"Ok, put Keira and Bob together in the same bed, then make them walk in on them''
"There's no way I'm touching James' lovedoll; there's three holes on that damn thing!''
"Well, wear gloves then''
"Any excuse for you to wear them''
"Of course. Wait, was that in reference to the gloves or the dolls just then?"
"Umm...So where does James keep Keira?''
"In her room I think''
"She has her own room?''
"Well yea''
"Why?''
"Just because...Where does Karen keep Bob?"
"The last I heard, Bob was on holiday"
''Holiday? *confused* What, on his own?''
"Yeah, he didn't go far though''
"So where did he, or IT go?''
"The basement. Karen locked him in there for a week, but pushed the key under the door for when he wanted to come out''
"lol, so there's no way of Bob coming out then?''
"Not unless he fancies James''
"What? I'm talking about coming out of the basement you assmunch, not some dodgy homosexual lovedoll love triangle. Ahh, this is too much."
''Wait, I got an idea!''
"I don't like the sound of this.."
''How 'bout we go round to James"
"You go talk to him, thus creating a distraction for me to put salt and vinegar on Keira's holes''
"Salt and vinegar? You really are warped.''
"Don't you know how much it hurts if you start rubbing that on your schlong?''
"Good point"
"Ok but what do we do about Karen?''
"Whatcha mean?''
"She's gonna need to get a new guy or lovedoll soon right?...''
"Yea and?''
"We have to stop her!"
TBC...